Going back to school after a holiday can bring a whirlwind of emotions—from excitement to dread. In our home, we’ve seen both extremes. One child meticulously packed her bag the night before, planned her hairstyle, and embraced the return to routine with enthusiasm. Meanwhile, her sister ignored her backpack for the entire holiday, leaving old lunch remnants to fester until they practically walked themselves to the trash.
It’s no secret that for many kids—and parents—the return to school is daunting. Beyond homework and schedules, there’s the anxiety when your child and teacher do not get along, or when you constantly get negative messages about your child. If you have ever wanted to hide under your pillow at the thought of school starting, you’re not alone.
While we can’t control every aspect of the classroom, we can support our children in navigating tricky teacher relationships. Here are practical tips to help your child thrive—even when the teacher isn’t their favorite.
Understanding the Situation
When your child comes home venting about their teacher, it’s easy to jump to conclusions. Instead, pause and gather information. Teaching styles and personalities vary greatly, just as every child has unique learning needs. Before assuming fault, consider whether the challenges stem from the teacher, your child, or a mix of both.
Encourage your child to share specifics about their experiences. Is the teacher strict, disorganized, or perhaps misunderstood? Understanding the dynamics is key to offering meaningful support.
Open Communication
Open communication is your secret weapon. Create a safe space for your child to express their feelings about their teacher. Listen without judgment and validate their emotions—even if their perspective feels exaggerated. Sometimes, just feeling heard can defuse a child’s frustration.
TIP: Ask open-ended questions like:
“How do you feel about your teacher?”
“What’s one thing you like about them?”
“How do you think your teacher sees you?”
These questions encourage deeper insights and help you better understand the root of the issue.
Building Positive Relationships
This might sound counterintuitive, especially to teens who insist, “The teacher doesn’t care about me!” Yet fostering a positive relationship can transform a challenging situation. Encourage your child to respect their teacher and see them as a resource, not an adversary. Remind them to seek help early—not after the problem snowballs.
TIP: Teach your child to approach their teacher with a problem-solving attitude. Instead of complaining, they could say, “I’m struggling with this topic. Can you help me understand it better?” Teachers appreciate proactive students, and this approach builds rapport.
Partnering with the Teacher
A strong parent-teacher partnership is essential. If issues persist, schedule a meeting to discuss your concerns. Approach the conversation with respect and empathy, emphasizing your shared goal: your child’s success.
TIP: Begin the discussion by acknowledging the teacher’s efforts. For example, “I appreciate the energy you put into helping the class stay engaged.” Starting on a positive note sets a collaborative tone and helps avoid defensiveness.
During the meeting, highlight your child’s strengths. Sharing their hobbies, interests, or past achievements can help the teacher see them in a more holistic light.
Working Towards Solutions
Rather than dwelling on problems, focus on solutions. Collaborate with the teacher to identify strategies that support your child’s learning and emotional well-being. Keep in mind that teachers juggle many responsibilities, so a constructive approach fosters goodwill.
TIP: Use language that frames the discussion as teamwork: “What can we do together to help [Child’s Name] succeed?” Avoid generalizing or bringing up unrelated issues, which can derail the conversation.
Supporting Emotional Well-Being
A difficult teacher relationship can impact your child beyond the classroom. Some kids vent their frustrations through anger, while others withdraw. Pay attention to these signals and offer your child healthy outlets to decompress. Activities like drawing, playing outside, or simply talking about their day can make a big difference.
Empowering Your Child
Ultimately, these situations offer valuable life lessons. Teach your child to handle challenges with resilience and grace. Equip them with skills like self-care, problem-solving, and effective communication—tools they’ll use long after school ends.
TIP: Role-play scenarios to help your child practice handling tough conversations. For example, “What could you say if you don’t understand the homework?” or “How can you respectfully explain your perspective to your teacher?”
Help your child see that while they can’t change others, they can adapt their own responses and find the best way forward.
Final Thoughts
Every child deserves to feel supported at school, even when faced with challenges. By fostering open communication, positive relationships, and problem-solving skills, you’re giving your child the tools they need to thrive—not just this school year, but in life. So, the next time “I hate the teacher” rolls around, take a deep breath, grab your coffee, and know that you’ve got this.
Let's work together to help your child be happier and feel successful. Contact us today.
Hanna Baer is an Educational Therapist with over 15 years of experience, founder of Neuro-fun Whole Child Therapy and mother of two amazing daughters. The one-of-a-kind program she developed improves the brain-body connection, behavior and learning skills. She helps children and young people feel happier and successful, helps parents and teachers to work together and improves parent-child relationships. Follow Hanna on facebook.com/neurofunwholechild and instagram.com/neurofunwholechild
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